Tuesday, July 23, 2013

52 Weeks of Blogging with a Purpose: If I could be anything in the world...

This topic was another hard one for me...I think this is a running theme with this linkup.  I like that it's pushing me to think about things.  I struggled with this one because I wasn't sure where I wanted to go with it.  This is what came out when I began writing.
When I look inside and ask myself what I would like to be, my first thought is I am already a mom.  I've always wanted to be a mom and I have 2 precious girls, who make me a mommy.  Growing up, I always wanted to be in a mother/daughter relationship.  I would look at my friends and see them with their moms and wanted that relationship.  I knew that while I love my father and we have a good relationship, it's not the same as I would have had with my mom. My mom would have understood a lot of what I was going through and she would have been there for me like no one else could have.  She would have been mine...my mother and many people take that relationship for granted.
For those of you who don't know, my mother Carmen Delia Martinez passed away January 7th, 1987 of breast cancer.  I was 6 and a half years old and I miss her everyday!  It's hard to describe growing up without a mom.  I had a step-mom but she had her own kids and it's not the same.  I had older sisters, who have been like mothers to me throughout my life, however, they had their own lives and their own children to mother.  I feel I turned out fine but it wasn't always easy.  I pray often that I will be there for my girls for all those moments that I missed having my mother there for me...like my wedding and the birth of both my girls.  When they do have their babies someday, I plan to take a month plus vacation and spend the time helping them learn to be a mom themselves.  They might be ready for me to head home after that but I plan to be there for them through it and for as long as they will let me. 

I always knew if/when I had a child I'd have a girl...I picked out her name when I was young and was very thankful none of my sister took my girl name.  Naming my first daughter after my mother was the easiest decision I ever made.  It's funny that she looks SO much like my husband's mother yet she is named after my mom.   She has a bit of both her grandmas in her forever!

Back to the topic, if I could be anything in the world...I would be what I am and I would be a mom to my 2 dearest blessings Carmen and Maria.

What would you be?  Is there something you already are that you always wanted to be?

2 comments:

  1. What a beautiful, soul-baring post. I still want to be a writer and to run Sissy's non-profit!

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  2. Beautiful post. Hmmm...Something I would want to be? This a really tough one.

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